The Happiest States in the U.S.

This post is serious. But mixed in with some fun.

Did you know that Texas has the largest gathering of people dressed like turkeys? Larger than any other state. There’s probably a really good chance it’s the largest gathering of turkey drag anywhere IN THE WORLD.

Does dressing like a turkey have anything to do with herpes? No. But I can see where folks might make that connection.

It’s interesting that Montana has the largest Testicle Festival. Interesting as in, other states have one too? Turns out, they do. There’s quite a few, in fact. The one in Montana ended in 2017, after a 35 year run.

Idaho still has one though.

Idaho.

According to this source, Idaho is ranked #10 as the happiest state to live in for 2026.

Since the highest cumulative score for any state is 65.50, Idaho’s 58.31 seems pretty darn good.

Hawaii, Maryland, and Nebraska are listed as the top three happiest states. Any readers live in one of these states and want to weigh in?

Illinois (ranked 22) is higher than Oklahoma (#36) BUT satisfaction with Community and Environment ranks Oklahoma at #3. That makes sense to me because, well, I really miss Tulsa, and a huge part of what I miss are the parks.

On the other end of the spectrum, Illinois’ ranking in the same category is 43. (As in 7th from the worst. You do remember there are only 50 states, right?)

The states with the highest rates of adult depression include Oregon, Vermont, and Maine. I would not have guessed that, would you? YET two states with the highest rate of “adequate” sleep are Oregon and Vermont. Riddle me that.

You might expect to find these states also listed under the highest suicide rates, but they’re not. You know what state is? Idaho. Idaho has the fourth highest number of suicides. Damn.

Moment of seriousness here. This one hits home. A friend told me this has been the case for decades. Another friend told me she is worried about raising her son here because suicide is so common. And every single day I think about a family that I was once quite close to and how the son, at 27 years of age, took his life just before Thanksgiving. It’s heartbreaking.

What really stands out for me is Utah.

Not because of Jell-O salad (which, honestly, I can’t believe isn’t a Midwest honor). Utah ranks #1 in: work environment (& fewest work hours), community & environment (which includes the highest volunteer rate and the highest sports participation). It also has the lowest divorce rate and is in the top five states for safety. Overall ranking? #6

But then on the other hand, Utah also has the highest rate of porn usage.

Yes, I’m making light of much of this. I am, but only the maps.

The methodology used for the rankings in the Adam McCann article is incredibly thorough, using 30 metrics on a 100-point scale over three major categories and supported by significant research. The rankings I just shared with you I take very seriously. Though I’m not sure if they truly indicate real life happiness. Even the statistics have too many contradictions.

So, what do you think?

What is your experience of where you live?

How would you rank your state and your town, and on what basis?

I’ll go first: People LOVE Idaho’s outdoor recreation opportunities. It’s an incredibly beautiful state with diverse landscapes. But it doesn’t resonate with me. I can appreciate what the state offers, and I am often in awe of the beauty, but living here does not, in fact, make me happy. I definitely don’t want to live in Chicago again, though I do enjoy visiting. Even Michigan, my birthplace, I only want to visit. Tulsa, Oklahoma, however – still tugs at my heart. The open space and landscape, the rivers and parks. And the people and diversity. I’ll circle back another time to why this is, how childhood experiences imprint on us, and why some places truly feel like home more than others. But for now, let me know what you think of the article’s findings and how their measurements relate to your experience.

And how come Florida has a town named Spuds but Idaho doesn’t?

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